I hadn’t traveled alone for pleasure in over two years after becoming a mother. Before, this was something I did often; Something that made me feel grounded, free. Between the routines, responsibilities, and throwing myself into everyone, I realized I haven’t invested in myself in a while. I refused to fall victim to “mom guilt,” so I decided to take a solo retreat and be in nature. i chose Mountain Shadow Resort My destination is Scottsdale. No expectations, no pressure… just space and touching grass (well, actually it was desert sand).
I didn’t set out to “find myself.” I just wanted to feel like me again. Turns out, it’s the little things that brought me back. Here’s what helped this busy parent slow down.
To be honest, I sold the dream of being in it. When I found out that every hotel room had “phone lock boxes,” I thought I’d be completely off-grid. I didn’t get there exactly, but I got somewhere close. I stopped reaching for my phone in every quiet moment and allowed myself to just be there. At first, it felt uncomfortable – like I was forgetting something. Eventually, though, the noise in my head subsided. I checked in with my family a few times to make sure everything was running smoothly on the East Coast. I had some meetings and work calls, but immediately afterward, I would put my phone on airplane mode or lock it. Which, as a NYC fashion mom who is self-employed, is unusual.
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Without constantly scrolling, I started to notice my thoughts, my emotions more, even as time slowed down. It reminded me how disconnected I had become from myself – from the present moment – without even realizing it.
One thing I set as an intention was that during this journey, I would allow myself to receive rather than give. Which is harder than it sounds, even though I’m a Leo who loves receiving gifts etc. My mind is running a mile a minute, balancing a growing and changing career, a growing and energetic child, a home and relationship that also needs TLC, not to mention my ongoing to-do list.
With all this, it can be difficult to find clarity. When I learned that the resort offered in-room Reiki and sound baths through its citizen curator Prasad, I booked immediately. I started with Goodnight Reiki the first night. This was a soothing 50-minute meditation and Reiki session designed to reduce over-arousal, reduce emotional overload and prepare your body for true relaxation. I fell asleep during the session and slept through the night. I can’t tell you the last time I rested like this, or slept through the night. On the last day of the trip, I finished it off with a nice shower before dinner. The peace of the sound bath felt as if layers I didn’t know I was carrying began to loosen, and I gained clarity on many lingering questions.
I didn’t have some dramatic, life-changing revelation, but I felt lighter, more open, clearer and more powerful – as if something had changed internally, even if I couldn’t fully explain it yet.
I’ll admit that I’m guilty of not paying attention to what I’m eating when I’m busy. I either skip meals or eat whatever is in front of me, which is not always healthy. As someone who loves food and appreciates a fine dining experience, I don’t have time for fine dining lately. Eating is a different pleasure when you are actually present. No rushing, no multitasking; Simply nourishing my body with intention. So, what I ate on this trip was intentional. open kitchen concept Hearthstone ’61 It was a great way to remind myself of the intention behind preparing a meal and the care that went into it, and made it even more satisfying to eat. I stressed a bit about the protein when ordering because it was stuck in my mind from my last doomscroll before locking my phone.
The experience of eating alone without a rush made me realize how often I treat food like an afterthought. Slowing down reminded me that taking care of myself doesn’t have to be complicated – it just has to be consistent.
The art of going on a date alone with yourself, along with taking time to enjoy your food, made the experience even better. I was prepared to be myself and somehow, it felt important. When I’m not ready for work, I run errands around my neighborhood and do school pickup like a troll (that is). Never my personality). For me on this trip, dressing up was not about impressing anyone. It wasn’t for a work event, to get on camera, or to have my picture taken. It was about reminding myself that I am allowed to feel beautiful, confident, and seen, even when no one is looking — especially when.
Since most busy parents often struggle to find time to get things done, I am no exception. Difficult schedules, caring responsibilities and my very limited personal time do not always allow me to fit in something that has historically been very important to me. Even though I know exercise is important for my mental health, I often skip workouts, and running around in this concrete jungle has put me so far out of touch with nature that I’ve missed the opportunity to reconnect. I love hiking, and whenever I’m on the west coast, I fit in my walking. No headphones, no distractions – just me, my breathing and my steps. I was inspired to climb Camelback Mountain alone. I woke up at 5 in the morning and started and finished my journey. I thought I would get halfway to the top and turn over, but I couldn’t, and I feel very grateful that I pushed myself forward.
Being in nature felt like a reset I didn’t know I needed. It gave me space to think and also space not to think. Both felt equally important.
No background noise, no constant stimulation – there’s something very therapeutic about just peace. I didn’t realize how rarely things were cool in my home, but also in NYC. I really wanted to take time to sit with that stillness, so as not to feel the need to make calls, listen to podcasts, or busy myself with work. I wanted to make sure I could spend this time alone and listen to my thoughts. So I sat in nature, by the pond, ate dinner alone, got up early to meditate, and finished the evening by the fire pit.
At first peace seemed unfamiliar. But eventually, it became comfortable – like I was finally getting a handle on myself.
Doing things alone—and doing it intentionally—is something that’s been missing for a while. Before motherhood, I had all the alone time I could want: every coffee, every walk, most meals — it was just me.
This trip reminded me of the feelings of enjoying one’s own company rather than feeling lonely; It seemed intentional. I remembered that my company is enough. In fact, more than enough. None of this was superficially extravagant or life-changing, but somehow, it changed something in me. I didn’t set out on this journey to come back a new person; I just wanted to feel like a more connected version of who I already was.
And maybe this is the real reset.
Here are some travel-friendly things I found on this self-care journey:
quince
Expandable Carry-On Suitcase
quince
Repurposed Nylon Compression Packing Cubes (6-Pack)
Needed.
women’s multivitamin
silk + beautiful
Silk + Sonder Starter Set
lunya
Washable Silk Sleep Mask
over dosage
Red Light Skin Starter Kit
