Parental stress is constantly increasing, but the main impact it is having on moms and dads today is the mental health of their children.
A new national survey conducted by Ipsos on behalf of The Kids Mental Health Foundation, founded by Nationwide Children’s Hospital, finds that nearly all parents of children under 18 (97%) reported feeling parenting-related stress in the past month, with one in four parents (30%) saying they experienced stress “often.”
The national survey of more than 1,000 parents across the United States also shows that while parents felt stressed in the past month, the two top sources of that stress were children’s behavioral issues (35%) and children’s emotional or mental health (26%). Nearly half of stressed parents feel it makes their children more anxious or worried (46%).
Parents today are aware of the importance of paying attention to the mental health of children when it comes to raising them. The problem is that this generation of parents is the first to try to do this. So, we hear, ‘I don’t have a model. I don’t know how to talk about mental health. I don’t know how to create mental health in my home. Parents are constantly worried, ‘Am I doing this wrong?'”
Ariana Hoyt, executive clinical director of The Kids Mental Health Foundation and child psychologist at Nationwide Children’s
Dr. Hoyt suggests that parents also take care of their mental health, as their stress can dictate household routines. Dr. Hoyt encourages parents to intentionally pay attention to the causes of stress, make changes where possible, and make time for connection and joy. Then, parents can support their children with daily habits that create a healthy home, including daily interactions with their children, reinforcing routines, and managing behavior.
“What we’re recommending is based on research. It helps parents build their children’s mental health,” Dr. Hoyt said. “Parents can feel like, ‘Okay, I know exactly what to do’ and take that stress out of making decisions.”
Dr. Hoyt emphasizes that small changes in the way you interact with your kids can change the mood in the home and reduce everyone’s stress.
Allison Tomlin, a mother of two boys in Hilliard, Ohio, relies on the resources of the Kids Mental Health Foundation as a parent and a teacher. He said that, ultimately, children just want to feel that they have been heard.
“Many times, parents are so focused on the solution that they dismiss the feelings. Then kids shut down because if they’re not being seen as a person first and just a problem. Kids are often like, ‘Well, I’m not going to have that conversation,'” Tomlin said. “We’re having hard conversations. We are talking about emotions. We are talking about emotions. And as uncomfortable as it is sometimes for adults, it’s a privilege to be able to parent children in a time where we’re putting mental health as a priority.”
Dr. Hoyt says parents don’t need to be perfect all the time. If they make a mistake, both parties can move on from it.
“Just model what it’s like to make a mistake, apologize and take accountability, and you’ll be fine,” Dr. Hoyt said. “You’re improving the relationship. The relationship is what matters.”
The Kids Mental Health Foundation provides free, evidence-informed resources to help parents and caregivers understand common stress triggers and parent less stressed and more confident at home.
For more information and free children’s mental health resources, please visit kidsMentalHealthFoundation.org.
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