confront and support
“Barnabas wanted to take with him John, also called Mark, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had left them in Pamphylia and did not continue with them in the work. There was so much disagreement between them that they separated.” (Acts 15:37-39)
In the workplace, in ministry, or even in marriage, conflict is inevitable because you are working closely with each other. God has created each of us with different personalities that may approach situations differently. One person may look at a situation and draw completely different conclusions than another.
Many times differences and disputes cannot be resolved. This does not mean that one or the other person is evil or sinful. It just means that there is no solution to differences of opinion or clash of personalities.
We see an example of this in the relationship between Paul and Barnabas, two partners in Christian ministry who had a sharp disagreement about a young man named John Mark. In Acts 15, we see that Barnabas wanted to take John Mark on a missionary trip. However, Paul refused. John Mark had disappointed him once before and Paul didn’t want to give him a second chance. Ultimately, Paul and Barnabas agreed to disagree and part ways with the company. Paul moved aside; Barnabas and John Mark went second. Sometimes, this is the only solution to a disagreement.
There is a postscript to this story: In 2 Timothy 4:11, Paul writes from his prison cell in Rome and tells Timothy, “Seize Mark and bring him with you, for he is helpful to me in my ministry.” After some disagreement between Paul and Barnabas, John Mark saved himself and became an important partner in Paul’s ministry. In fact, when Paul faced execution in Rome, he wanted his friend John Mark to accompany him.
Whenever there is a disagreement, make sure you maintain your support for the person while also disagreeing with his or her position. Avoid personal attacks and explaining the motives behind someone else’s position. This will allow you to disagree and still maintain a relationship.
