Self-Compassion to Reset the Nervous System

If you find yourself stuck in a stress cycle, try this gentle practice to stop, calm your nervous system, and reset.

It’s not always intuitive to us, but self-compassion is one of the most powerful forms of healing and restoration for our mental and physical well-being.

In this meditation, mindfulness teacher Shamash Alidina offers three ways to show kindness to yourself when you’re stressed and need a reset.

Shamash Alidina has been practicing mindfulness since 1998 and runs his own successful training organization. He is the author of Mindfulness for Dummies And recently, brain path through stress. He is often seen in newspapers, magazines and radio shows. Based in London, he runs online training and speaks at conferences around the world. He has been teaching mindfulness full-time since 2010.

Self-Compassion to Reset the Nervous System

Read the guided meditation script below and practice, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio exercises.

1. Let’s take these 12 minutes to reset the nervous system – to move out of work mode and into survival mode. Start by finding a position that feels like a hug to your body, whether you’re sitting or lying down. See if you can be a percent or two more comfortable. Maybe that means a pat behind your back or a little bit of clenching of your jaw.
2. Now let’s take a deep, slow breath in. And as you exhale, imagine that you are ticking off the days to-do list. Let it fall on the floor now. It’ll still be there later if you really want it, but for now, you’re off duty.
3. What is the condition of your nervous system? Is it resonating? Is it tight? See if you can welcome it with a little curiosity rather than judgment. instead of saying, i shouldn’t feel stressedtry to say Oh that’s interesting. The stress is getting to me right now. He is alright. it will pass with time.
4. Now let’s bring some compassion to the physical body. Our nervous systems are often stuck in high alert as they are trying to protect us. Let’s send a signal that it’s safe to rest.
5. Start by bringing awareness to your lower abdomen. Invite it to soften. So as you breathe, it slowly expands. And as you exhale, it slowly contracts. If this feels right to you, put your hand on your heart. Or if you prefer, hold one hand in the other. Feel warmth and light pressure. It’s not just a gesture, it actually releases oxytocin. The body’s natural soothing chemicals.
6. As you gradually bring awareness to your breath, there is no need to breathe “perfectly.”“Just feel the breath going in and out like the tides of the ocean. Each inhale is a gift of energy. And each exhale is an opportunity to get out.
7. You can say while breathing, I know I’m breathing. breathing out, I smile softly at my nervous system. When we are overwhelmed we become isolated.
8. Let’s practice the three steps of self-compassion together. Step 1: Mindfulness. Acknowledge whatever struggles you are going through right now. Say quietly to yourself, This is a moment of pain or it’s really hard right now. You’re not trying to reduce it. You are validating your own experience.
9. Step 2: Common humanity. Remind yourself that you are not alone. Thousands of people will feel exactly the same way right now. This feeling of buzzing or heaviness is part of being human. You’re part of the big, messy, beautiful club. Club of Humanity.
10. Now Step 3: Self-compassion. Ask yourself the magic questions. How can I be kind to myself right now? Maybe you need to hear the words, everything will be fine. You are doing your best. Say these words to yourself with the same warmth you would use to a dear friend. Or perhaps for a small puppy who is struggling.
11. Now, just sit in this peace for a while. If your mind thinks it will, because that’s what the mind does, just gently, playfully invite it back. Imagine a golden light of kindness emanating from your heart, filling your chest, your limbs. And there is space all around you, creating a buffer zone of peace. The nervous system is gradually reorganizing. Shifting from fight or flight to rest, digest and restore. You don’t have to earn this comfort. You deserve it because you exist.
12. When you’re ready, wiggle your fingers and toes a little as we slowly approach the end of this little journey. Try to carry this kindness muscle with you for the rest of your day. Things get busy later, remember you can always come back to that soft lower belly or that gentle hand on your heart. Thank yourself for making good use of this time. Stopping and breathing is a fundamental act of kindness. When you are ready, slowly open your eyes. Do good stretching. And maybe give yourself a little smile.