The Diocese of Charlotte has found that a priest did not violate any of its conduct policies during confession with teenagers at a Charlotte Catholic high school in Charlotte, North Carolina, last December.
Several families whose teens attend the school had complained that a priest crossed the line into “inappropriate” conversation during confession, but in a statement to EWTN News, the diocese said it “looked into the complaints raised regarding conversations that occurred during confession at Charlotte Catholic High School last December” and did not identify any “violations of our conduct policies” in the priest’s behavior.
According to one report, the family, who wished to remain anonymous to protect their daughters, said that during the sacrament of reconciliation, a priest asked the young women “unexpected and personal questions.” WCNC Charlotte.
A father said the priest, who has not been identified, asked his daughter about sexual sins.
According to the young woman’s mother, the question was not related to the sin she was confessing at the time. “‘Mom, I was telling him about Mas missing and lying to you and the fight with my brother… and we weren’t talking about sex at all and that’s all he asked me about,'” the mom said.
Another mother reported that the priest asked her daughter “if she had ever had sex with a boy.”
Those two families and others said they have made their concerns known to the school as well as the Diocese of Charlotte.
In its statement, the diocese said it had communicated about the matter “with all those involved at the time and has addressed the issue with all priests in the diocese, and reiterated the need for pastoral sensitivity in celebrating the sacrament.”
According to the Diocese of Charlotte, Bishop Michael Martin also responded via letter to families, who told WCNC he received similar responses.
“I’m sorry that your daughter had conversations in the confessional that made her feel uncomfortable,” Martin reportedly said in his letter.
He said priests sometimes ask clarifying questions during confession or lead a penitent who has not properly examined his conscience away.
The Catholic Church teaches The faithful should examine their conscience regularly, but especially before the Sacrament of Reconciliation to make a good confession.
Martin continued, “Penitent seekers often come to the sacrament after engaging in a limited examination of conscience.” A priest may “lead a general age-appropriate struggle with the sin … to refresh their memory or to give them the benefit of just saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ so they don’t have to describe the sin in too much detail.”
He reminded families that priests are prohibited from breaking what is known as the “sacred seal” or discussing what they heard in confession.
Charlotte Catholic High School did not respond to EWTN News in time for publication.
Several parents who raised the issue expressed dissatisfaction with the bishop’s response, however, with one parent saying he felt his concerns had been “dismissed”.
Another mother told a local news outlet, “The whole letter felt like we were being gaslighted.” “We understand what is appropriate and what is inappropriate.”
Still, one mother said, “I’m still a faithful Catholic. I just want it to be about doing the right thing.”
The diocese’s statement continued: “Confession is a sacrament intended to address sins so that a priest can offer absolution and guidance to the penitent. A variety of topics come up during Confession, and in accordance with Church norms, a priest may ask clarifying questions and, if necessary, assist the penitent in making a full confession.”
The statement concluded, “Confession is a sacrament that Catholics learn about through required religious preparation classes at home and in their church. Confession is offered on a voluntary basis in our schools, and as Catholics, students are encouraged but not required to attend school.”
Priests’ Perspective
A priest who serves as a chaplain to middle and high school students told EWTN News that he personally knows of only one case where a penitent was “blamed that the priest was asking for clarifying information,” while acknowledging that priests sometimes do this to help the penitent make a “good confession.”
“People are sensitive about such topics right now,” said the priest, who did not wish to be named. “Even with completely innocent intentions, things can play out really badly. We’re in the ‘Me Too’ season, we’re in the ‘pastors are pedophiles’ period of history.”
The priest told EWTN News that he “does not routinely lead (penitents) in an examination of conscience” during confession. He added: “I don’t know a single priest who does that.”
Furthermore, the priest “has the beauty of the seal of confession,” he said, but because of that, a priest accused of wrongdoing “is helpless, not that he’s necessarily innocent, but his ability to defend himself is really limited.”
Another priest and former high school chaplain, who wished to remain anonymous, told EWTN News that it was possible the misunderstanding occurred because young people, “especially teenage girls, are often embarrassed to talk about sins of a sexual nature and are sometimes not forthright during confession, requiring the priest to ask clarifying questions.”
He added, “But the priest should not raise questions related to the sins the penitent is confessing, and again, he should only clarify the questions to help him make a better confession.”
