A reader writes:
Recently my manager asked me to help him revise the job posting and hiring process because the last two people we hired left just a few weeks after starting the job. One said she didn’t think our workplace had a professional environment, and another said she realized her values didn’t align with the company’s. Since I am the most recent successful hire, my manager wants me to help him understand what made the difference in my selection.
You’re probably assuming that my workplace would be toxic or horrible, but honestly, it’s the most fun place I’ve ever worked, and that might actually be the problem. Nothing about this fits the typical idea of a bad workplace, but it sure is… weird.
People often eat lunch together. Not everyone eats out with coworkers a few times a week, but most of us do. (Not everyone participates. The person who splits the work with me says she’s already seen enough of us in the office and never joins us, and no one minds.) Lunch is where most of the unusual stuff happens.
An employee created a betting sheet for which celebrity would be the next to die or be involved in a scandal. You can add one name per month, and if you guess correctly you could win a day off. It sounds more poorly written than it actually is, but the people who take part really enjoy it.
Lunch conversations can also veer into very unprofessional territory. The week one employee resigned, the debate over lunch was whether extraterrestrials are capable of orgasm. That discussion lasted for more than one lunch break as people kept proposing different possible alien anatomies.
But the least professional thing we do might be a cardboard figure sitting at a desk named Robert. Robert has been a part of the company culture long before I joined. The story behind it is about a former employee who arrives, welcomes everyone and then disappears until it’s time to go home. No one ever knew where Robert was, and whenever someone needed him they could not find him, but the job always seemed to get done.
One day the company needed a team photo, and someone picked up a cardboard box, drew a face on it, added a badge and included “Robert” in the photo. After the real Robert retired, the box eventually evolved into a full cardboard cutout that now sits on his desk.
At the end of each month we usually have short work, and a game where someone hides Robert somewhere in the company and everyone searches for him. In the end everyone gets candy. Not everyone actively participates, one person keeps a map of where Robert has not yet been discovered, some people make suggestions, and others don’t care about the game, but no one objected to it, except when HR banned Robert from hiding in interview rooms and public-facing areas.
Both employees who resigned saw the “Find Robert” search. He didn’t mention it specifically, but I think it must have given him the impression that the atmosphere was not professional.
My manager wanted help finding people who would think these things were funny instead of funny, and she asked how I felt when I started. Mine started (fortunately or unfortunately) when people were decorating Robert with a heart-pattern tie and a box of bonbons, while discussing what kind of box Robert would want as a girlfriend. I thought it was weird in a weird way, and it didn’t bother me enough to make me reconsider the job.
Aside from lunch and the occasional lookout for Robert, the guys are actually pretty professional during work hours, other than greeting the occasional cardboard coworker or helping him decorate for the holidays. We are a very productive and inclusive team, but I understand how strange this may seem to someone seeing it for the first time.
I honestly don’t know how to help my manager find capable people who are comfortable in this environment. The person who interviewed me said the team was cool, but it certainly didn’t prepare me for what the office is really like.
Someone suggested hiding Robert for a while, but wouldn’t it be better for the new employees to know what they’re doing? How do we find people who will feel comfortable discussing whether Arrival’s aliens understand sex and also think it’s perfectly normal to greet a cardboard co-worker?
I realize your answer may be that our company is not the wonderful place I think it is and that we should behave in a more professional manner. But considering that our CEO once hid Robert in his own office during a search, I don’t think the culture will change. (Still, feel free to say if that’s your idea, sometimes the outside perspective is very different.) I’m mainly looking for ideas on selecting people who would actually find this kind of thing funny rather than inconvenient.
I don’t think people are giving up on Robert, unless Robert is more of a focal point than he seems. Many offices have Robert-type traditions that people enjoy.
if this Were Just Robert, so the way to screen for people who wouldn’t be unhappy with your culture would be to talk about your culture in interviews – explain the Robert tradition as a way to paint a picture of what it’s like to work there.
But I think the issue is more likely to be other aspects of the culture. The biggest problem with talking about is whether aliens have orgasms or not. unprofessional; It’s that many people don’t want to hear their coworkers talk about sex, period, and you’re in an area where it would be very easy for people to feel like working at your company requires them to tolerate a sexist environment they don’t want at work, which is a form of sexual harassment.
Now, maybe the foreign intercourse conversation was an anomaly, but you said lunch conversations regularly veer into “very unprofessional territory.” And the thing is: If a topic is inappropriate during work hours, it’s also inappropriate during lunch, if you’re eating with coworkers. If the topic might make someone feel sexually assaulted at 2 pm, it doesn’t change just because it’s happening over a sandwich at 12:30. And legally, employers are responsible for all of this.
You may assume everyone you know is comfortable with it – but (a) you can’t know for sure when you have new employees, and (b) even people who have been around for a while won’t always speak up when they’re uncomfortable because they don’t want to be seen as a party pooper. That’s why you need to stay away from that stuff at work. There are still plenty of interesting topics that don’t involve sex (or religion or violence or politics, other big topics to avoid).
If your boss is really asking, “How can we hire employees who won’t mind working in a sexist environment?” …Okay, that’s the wrong question to ask. The question should be, “How can our culture be changed so that people don’t feel like this is a sexist environment?” You mentioned that you are an inclusive team, but by definition this Not there. Inclusive – So if inclusivity is something you value, this is something you need to change.
