These are four answers to four questions. Here it is…
1. Should my boss message me before calling me on Teams?
My boss recently called me early in the morning (7:50 am) through Teams without any notice. I was already working; I went online at 7am (my work timings are 7am to 4pm) but this bothered me and made me a little worried. I let it go as a missed call and wrote her immediately after saying I was ready now. Was this okay or is it okay for him to call and ask if I’m available without messaging me first? Or just accepted because he’s the boss?
The fact she did it so quickly surprised me, since she’s usually online later, but I think it would have bothered me regardless of the time since she didn’t message me earlier.
Many offices have a cultural expectation that people will message first to check if you’re available before making a call, but there are still times when your boss may just need to call you and won’t message first. If it’s during your working hours, that’s not an exaggeration. The assumption isn’t necessarily that you’ll be available on the spot (you might be on another call or away from your desk), but it’s not wrong or unreasonable for him to call without warning. (This would also be true if she were a co-worker, not your boss, but especially if your boss had the freedom to do this.)
2. How to Accommodate People Who Get Angry for Medical Reasons
I’m asking a question on behalf of my community of autistic people. Some people with autism experience violent panic attacks when tired or overstimulated. Within the autism community, these attacks are called “meltdowns.” Most people with relatively mild autism do not suffer from these attacks to a debilitating extent, but some autistic people, especially those who are more deeply affected by their autism. These attacks are involuntary and often cannot be controlled. Sometimes these can be reduced or managed with therapy or medication, but not always.
Because these attacks are violent and potentially dangerous, and because there is a lot of misunderstanding surrounding them, people who experience regular meltdowns are often unable to work, even if they are otherwise highly qualified. Autism community boards often feature posts from people struggling with meltdowns who are trying to figure out how to make a living despite these attacks.
What advice would you give to people in this situation? Is it legitimate to ask for an accommodation to deal with these attacks – perhaps remote work, or off-hours/night work? Would any other accommodation be possible? Is there anything else to suggest?
It’s perfectly legitimate to ask for accommodations, and it seems like if it’s possible for a job, remote work might be one of them. Additionally, if something in a person’s work environment is likely to trigger a meltdown, an effective accommodation might be reducing or removing that trigger (for example, if a noisy environment or disruption in routine might cause it, you might consider accommodations designed to avoid those triggers — like a quieter workplace or at least a more sensory-friendly space where you can go when needed, with the understanding that you may need to get up sometimes. may occur, or advance notice when there will be changes in routine).
Not every accommodation will be possible for every job, but an employer must be willing to enter into an ADA-mandated interactive process to try to find a solution, and there are plenty of options between the extremes of “coworkers suffer violent outbursts” and “otherwise qualified individuals who suffer autistic meltdowns can’t work.”
3. Mentioning in an interview that a good friend works on the team
My partner was invited to interview for a supervisory position in his area at a new organization where a mutual friend of ours also works. As it happens, we both know this friend from a previous job the three of us worked at about eight years ago. This role would make my partner and friend a co-supervisor in a shared pool of employees, which exactly mirrors the job situation from all those years ago (it’s a small industry!).
Should my partner disclose the friendship to the hiring committee? On one hand, it doesn’t seem like it raises any conflict of interest issues, it’s just a job where they will be working with a good friend. On the other hand, will the hiring committee find it strange if they don’t mention it at all, and on the first day of work it turns out that the two supervisors are good friends and have known each other forever?
To be clear, we haven’t consulted our friend about interview preparation, or asked him to help his partner in any way, so we’re wondering what you would advise as the safest option in this situation.
This should really come from the friend – because it would be very awkward if your partner’s friend knew that their good friend was interviewing for a job where they would be co-managers and didn’t mention it to anyone else involved in the appointment. The hiring committee should have the opportunity to be aware of the dynamic and think about how it might affect things, and if the friend has any input into the hiring decision, not acknowledging a personal relationship with one of the candidates will be a problem.
So it is mainly the friend who should do this. But your partner should also take the opportunity to mention in the interview that he or she worked with Valentina Warbleworth in a similar role eight years ago.
4. I work different hours than my boss
My job doesn’t pay very well for my skills. It’s sales and I have good results, but my company doesn’t make enough money to pay me accordingly. I make an honest effort, and try to limit my time at work to a reasonable limit given my salary. As a result, I leave work earlier than others to workout.
I arrive around 8-8:30 and leave around 3:30-4. I probably work a little less than others, although I’m usually the first to arrive at the office and I don’t know when everyone else leaves.
I have a new manager, and he comes to the office 1 to 1.5 hours later than me. The result is that I leave much earlier than he anticipates. I’ve been honest about my approach to salary and time off (I’ve actually discussed with my former and new bosses that I don’t think I should work full-time given my salary, and they didn’t object), but I don’t want to look like I quit ridiculously early.
How can I get credit for the time and effort I put in back in the day? Or should I just get a new job that I can put more effort into and feel good about? Generally I love what I do and working out less is not an option.
People work on different schedules, so the fact that you’re coming in earlier and leaving earlier than others shouldn’t be a problem as long as your boss is okay with your work hours. If you’re working less overall, this could be an issue, but it sounds like you’ve been upfront with your boss about your schedule and the reasons for it, and he hasn’t raised any objections.
You can definitely make sure he knows you’re there at 8-8:30, even if he’s not – like by sending timestamped messages around 8, etc. But it sounds like you have reasons for what you’re doing, you’ve laid them out and you can keep doing it until he expresses concern. (Of course, it’s possible that she doesn’t like it and hasn’t told you – and you won’t know this unless you suddenly end up on the layoff list or something – but you can also ask her directly if she thinks your schedule will be an issue or not.)
Whether or not you should get a different job is a completely different question, but based on what you’ve said, it doesn’t sound like this schedule would need a reason for it.
