These are five answers to five questions. Here it is…
1. My coworkers’ attitude toward group work is driving me crazy
At my workplace, we regularly have to give short presentations on how our work is going. As we work in teams, teams need to present together. It seems like every time I come across the same dynamic, and it’s driving me up a tree:
For example, Fergus and I need to give a 5-10 minute presentation on sales in a certain district. We need to create a PowerPoint and a summary document to share with everyone. We divided the work so that we could each handle half of both the PowerPoint and the document, and arranged for a check-in meeting a few days before the meeting to run through the presentation. Fergus gets his work done a few hours before check-in, so I’ve been looking at documents all week, seeing nothing happening, and getting nervous that I have to take over his job. After the first check-in, more work needs to be done on the presentation, so we schedule another check-in. Then, there’s nothing happening before the second check-in, so I take a break and go in and do my thing. Fergus expresses remorse for not doing his job and makes unnecessary changes to make improvements that mess up the presentation (think randomly italicizing words or making all the text different colors), requiring me to go back in and revert the changes to the way it was before. Overall, it took me twice as long to put together a presentation as it would have taken me to do it alone, and I had to do other important things as well. At this point, I’m angry and Fergus can tell, so doing the presentation becomes clunky and joyless, even though I really enjoy giving presentations.
This is just one example, but it is not specific to Fergus. Fergus isn’t a bad guy either, and I don’t think he’s intentionally trying to get a free trip. What I shared above is a very specific example – not every person is like that. drafting of Material Like it! However, my tendency to take on other people’s work when it doesn’t get done on time or correctly has happened to so many different people that I’m beginning to think it’s my problem. It’s probably inappropriate to ask people to complete their work ahead of time so I don’t have to stress about it. And I know there are some aspects I may have left out. It’s just that when someone is on their way to screw me, I automatically get into that mindset of, “Here we go again! I might as well do the whole thing myself because that’s what’s going to happen anyway!” And then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Can you offer some reframing so I don’t lose my evergreen mind? Are there some scripts I can use to make sure my coworkers and I are on the same level in terms of expectations?
First of all, how much does it matter that these presentations are perfect? Are you correcting to the standard or higher standard used by others presenting them? If the latter, it’s worth revisiting whether it would really be worth putting less energy into perfecting them.
Or, can you split the work differently – like instead of each being responsible for half the PowerPoint and half the document, can you each take the entirety of one? (Probably not if you’re filing jointly, but it’s worth asking.)
Otherwise, though, why not set up check-in earlier? If you’re nervous that you won’t see the work done at first and you know from past history that last minute changes will need to be made, why not suggest checking in earlier in the process so you don’t feel anxious all week? However, either way, you need to stop looking at your partners’ work until the actual check-in, as it is irritating you and exacerbating the problem. And you Definitely You need to stop getting involved in your coworkers’ work and leaving it for them just because it’s not done sooner – it’s not fair to them (maybe they have time to do it later and it’s not fair to you to decide to do it earlier) and it’s exacerbating the problem.
If you find that doing all this gets you substandard work, it’s time to talk to your boss about what’s going wrong – but do the above first and see where it takes you.
2. Giving feedback to a staff member when I haven’t noticed the problem myself
I work in a structure with four managers and four executives, where direct reporting lines don’t really match up with work areas. So as a manager, I have regular and extensive conversations with my reporting officer (Lily), but I don’t really get to see what she’s like to work with, I only see what she tells me. And I think there have been some development signals given to him over the last year, but we don’t have any formal 360 review type mechanism.
One of my fellow managers told me that both she and the executive she manages have found that Lily is not good at collaborating – she can guard projects too closely. I would love to work with her to develop this skill, but I don’t want it to seem like people are coming to me unannounced to complain about her. I don’t think this is a failure, it’s just an area to work on where someone relatively junior and inexperienced can improve. Can you suggest a script to bring this forward?
Be transparent: “I talk to other managers and offices from time to time about how things are going and where we can grow, and one thing I hear is that they want better collaboration on things like Have a chance to find out (and what we can’t do)? Talk about how you’re handling others’ input – and where we should welcome it, and what to do when you’re not sure a particular piece of feedback is worthwhile?
However, before doing that, go back to the other manager and get more information about how it’s actually going (if you don’t already have those specific information). You really want to know where Lily is struggling with this because your guidance will depend on what that looks like. For example, your focus will be different if she’s being defensive when people give her input versus not giving her a chance to offer it in the first place, etc.).
Alternatively, in some cases you might simply ask, “What are you doing to make sure we get input from X and Y teams?” or “What kind of input has Jane offered on this?” (And then, “What were your thoughts on that?”) And reflect on it in depth, or even sit in on some relevant meetings where you can see it firsthand and then give your feedback later. But this isn’t something you should dance around.
3. Can you use follow-up emails to “fix” messed up answers in an interview?
Can post-interview thank-you emails be used for other purposes – namely, is it an opportunity to shore up responses where I know I didn’t take advantage of it in the interview?
I base my interview questions either way or entirely on whether I had anticipated and prepared for the questions, so inevitably I have at least one or two questions where I fail to answer them well. Can I use a thank you email to share some of the things I wish I had said during the reflection?
I’m imagining something like this: First, thanking them in general. Then, if the question I asked was about
And if you asked more than one question, can you answer multiple things? I realize that trying to recover from more than two issues would make the email too long, but am wondering if “Thank you, highlight area X, highlight area Y” is also crossing that line.
Yes, you can use your follow-up email to correct or expand on things that came up in the interview, including things you don’t think you answered well. But your proposed example is too subtle! You should be more direct about it. For example: “I realized that when you asked about X, I should have shared ____.” Keep it relatively short – one or two paragraphs at most.
And I’ll limit it to just one or two things. Another might be phrased as, “I also wanted to mention…”
More than that will seem a bit awkward, but it’s fine to do with one or two subjects.
Connected:
Thank You Notes: They’re Not About Thanking Someone
4. Reporting minor injuries at work
Recently a small problem has arisen with the skin of my hands. It’s easily treatable and not something I think about or worry about too much. However, the medicated lotion makes the skin on my hands incredibly thin, so they’re constantly covered in marks and scratches. It’s not that bad in itself, but even a small scratch or bump makes me start bleeding. This morning I was running to a meeting, sat down, and realized that my hand was bleeding where I must have hit it while getting out of the car.
How do I resolve this so my coworkers aren’t worried? I don’t really need help or anything. I have bandages everywhere and usually I’ll excuse myself for a moment, clean up the blood and come back. I even started bleeding when my hand hit the table in a meeting! But to reiterate, these are not things that really hurt at all and I don’t want people to be concerned, but I appreciate that they are concerned.
Keep doing what you’re doing – excuse yourself to handle it and then come back. You don’t need to say anything beyond this. But if someone expresses concern, just say, “Oh, it’s just a minor skin condition that means I bleed easily right now, but there’s nothing to worry about.” People will take cues from you, so if you’re comfortable with it, that’s probably what will happen.
5. When I witness someone else’s complaint, can I share my experience?
My co-worker Vila has filed an official complaint against her manager Servalan for bullying and discrimination. I have been asked to testify at an investigation, and I’m not sure what to expect at the meeting or what my responsibilities are.
I have not witnessed Servalan’s behavior in this matter first-hand because Villa is in a different office, but, based on how he treated me during the four months I gave him notice, I fully believe it. The only reason I didn’t complain myself was because I talked to my skip-level boss and got my reporting line changed. Can I talk about how Servalan treated me in the meeting, or am I only expected to talk about how he treated Vila?
Yes, you can share your experience with Servlan. Be clear about this: “I have not directly observed Servalan’s dealings with Villa because I am in a different office, but I have my own firsthand experience with him that is consistent with Villa’s report. Would you like me to share what I have experienced myself?”
