These are five answers to five questions. Here it is…
1. I’m allergic to my coworker’s perfume, and HR says I have to manage it myself
I work hybrid and have to be in the office a couple days a week. I am also allergic to some fragrances and perfumes. Things like vanilla and citrus don’t bother me, but strong floral scents cause my sinuses to become inflamed, resulting in a migraine. It’s not pleasant, so I do my best to avoid anything that triggers it.
Unfortunately, no one takes fragrance allergies seriously or knows they exist. My co-worker, Linda, wears such a strong perfume that I can smell it even 10 minutes after I got there where she was. There’s an entire part of the office I avoid because she sits there and I can’t stand the mess that comes out of her cubicle.
My manager, knowing how unhappy I was, reached out to HR about this because we didn’t want to create any awkwardness or inconvenience for Linda and wanted to level things out. HR told her it was the employee’s responsibility to manage their allergies. He asked what I do in public. For one thing, in public, I have the option of removing myself from the situation, whereas I am required to be here for my job and have no way to escape. Plus, I’m having to isolate myself socially and politely decline people’s coffee run invitations because being in the elevator with Linda for a few minutes is enough to ruin my entire day. By the way, after HR’s harsh decision, I have spent the last two years quietly avoiding her and that part of the office, feeling like there was nothing I could do to improve my situation.
I have gently told her several times that I am allergic to perfume. Things came to a head a few weeks ago when she locked me in a small room and I had to repeat that I was allergic to her perfume, and she was so completely shocked by this revelation, she asked everyone else in the room if she smelled. My director was there and resolved the matter by saying, “His nose is very sensitive!” The more I thought about it, the more it bothered me. Why am I being forced to crawl around smelling someone’s beautiful body at the expense of my right to be comfortable?
After that incident, I cried in the director’s office and told him what HR said. She told me that Linda is a kind person and that I should talk to her directly about it. I find this suggestion very strange. I’m not uncomfortable talking to people to resolve disputes, but, having never been put in a situation like this, I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m nowhere near the level of demanding that no one should use laundry detergent or need unscented soap in the bathroom, but still, it seems like an unreasonable stance by HR. How would you suggest I deal with this problem? Should I talk to Linda directly? If yes, what should I say?
“It is the employee’s responsibility to manage their allergies”? Legally speaking, this is true only to a certain extent. If your allergies are severe enough, according to the Americans with Disabilities Act they have to try to find a way to accommodate you, and in many cases implementing a fragrance policy will be considered a reasonable accommodation under the law. (here is Some information from Job Housing Network on this, and here’s something else.) They may also consider creating a fragrance free zone For you and others who need it, but it also has to include accommodations for things like elevators. So first and foremost, HR is not doing their job here, and you and your manager should feel free to cite the law and back off.
However, other than that, it is not a bad idea to try to talk to Linda directly since she is the main source of the problem at this point. Since it just came out, you have an easy start. Sample language: “I’m sorry to ask this, but it seems I’m allergic to the perfume you wear. It’s a lovely scent but it gives me sinus problems and migraines. Wouldn’t you like to wear it at work?” If she refuses, you can say, “In that case, please understand that I can’t stay in a small room with you – it’s nothing personal, just a medical matter.” But at that point, HR is really the next step (preferably with your manager’s involvement this time).
2. Is the thumbs-up emoji an acceptable email response?
I’m fully aware that this is a “me” thing and not worth fighting, but I have recently been introduced to Gmail’s emoji reaction feature. I emailed my direct report and they used the “Add response” feature to reply with a thumbs-up.
Business communication is important in our work. I don’t feel insulted by the fact that he responded to my email that way, but I would be horrified if he did this to someone senior to me or to one of our clients. It just seems unprofessional to me.
Am I overreacting? I don’t want to be a micromanager, but it makes me nervous.
I think being “afraid” is a bit much, but if you don’t want them to use that feature in certain situations, just let them know that! It’s perfectly fine to say, “I’ve noticed you using the Gmail thumbs-up response lately, and I want to make sure you know that’s OK with me, but you shouldn’t use it with higher-ups or clients because some people will find it too informal for those contexts.”
3. When a company actively avoids disclosing a salary range, are they trying to undervalue you?
I applied for a job that might be a little behind my director level position now. I have spoken with HR twice and had a brief email exchange where they kept asking me what I was looking for, and I at one point politely but directly said that I was looking at what they have budgeted for the position and how the bonus structure works and got an overview of the benefits as I have previously requested. He promised to send something earlier and has now committed to calling someone with information. I guess I can assume they expect to let someone down, right? Otherwise why do it? It is a large publicly traded company on NASDAQ.
Yes, companies do this because they hope they will be able to pay you less. They don’t always consciously think this way – it’s less likely that they’re rubbing their hands together in glee when they think about downplaying you and more that they’re thinking, “We don’t want to pay more than we have to, so let’s see what people are wanting” – but at the end of the day, it’s the same thing.
They know how much budget they have set. This is not a secret for them. They’re just trying to avoid telling you because they feel that if they do, you’ll be more likely to ask or expect something that’s top of that range.
4. Who should know when someone is on medical leave?
Our office manager is upset because she didn’t know about another staff member going on medical leave (using FMLA). After some drama, I sent her the email I sent earlier, letting her and the management team know about the employee’s upcoming leave. The office manager doesn’t need to know about the leave, but he insists on knowing absolutely everything. (She doesn’t manage scheduling, calendaring, or vacation. She manages another administrator who manages scheduling/calendaring.)
My boss scolded me, even though I showed him the email/paper trail. I suggested that the management team share major updates in a private, password-protected notebook because things were getting lost in email. It is a work approved, fire-walled notebook tool. He said this is a violation of FMLA laws. I am shocked by his aggressive attitude. It’s OK to share via email but not OK to share in a password-protected notebook?
Am I violating FMLA laws by sharing the fact that a staff member is on FMLA with the entire management team? To clarify, this will only be a note about their leave dates, not “why” or any other details of their leave.
It is not illegal to share that an employee is on medical leave (or is about to go out on medical leave), as long as you do not share the specific reason for the leave (as this is private medical information that the FMLA requires to be kept confidential from those who do not need the actual job-based information).
It’s not clear why your boss agrees with informing the management team by email, but objects to your password-protected notebook idea, but under the law both would be fine. It’s also not clear why your boss objected to forwarding an email to the office manager, which he apparently had already included originally.
5. What to do after being a misclassified contractor
My mom recently got a new job after two years of being a 1099 contractor in an office. She had to work in the office for specific hours, 40 hours a week, and had to request certain days off. She was also sometimes expected to be on-call on weekends (not sure if there would be any additional compensation). To me, there is no world in which this misclassification does not occur; They were treating him as an employee while paying him as a contractor (he paid his own payroll taxes and received no benefits). She was not alone – there were at least two other women with similar conditions.
In a field with low opportunities, while she was employed, raising this issue was very risky as she would have been fired and lost employment altogether. I know the next piece of advice is “hire an employment attorney.” But can you provide more information about what’s involved and what the process looks like?
In fact, he doesn’t even need a lawyer in this matter. She can simply request that the IRS file a determination of what her true employment status should be. IRS Form SS-8 (Determination of worker status for purposes of federal employment tax and income tax withholding). She will answer a number of questions about the nature of her work and the structure of her relationship with the employer; Once the IRS receives the form, they will investigate and issue a ruling. It’s free to file, and it’s quite simple and worth doing. (She needs to be careful that her former employer will know she did this, but it’s probably still worth doing.)
That said, if she wants to talk to an attorney before proceeding, here’s information on how to find one.
