“The Macedonians did not have the wisdom to call a spade by any other name than a spade” (Desiderius Erasmus).
Candor is often a virtue, but it is one that can be easily distorted. When it is important that there is clear communication, clear speaking should be preferred to any other form, and Benjamin Disraeli was right when he said, “There is no wisdom like clarity.” But how many of us have this knowledge? How many of us have the skills to speak clearly and clearly without losing control over our words and speaking rudely or even cruelly?
Like many other similar traits, candor is only good when certain conditions are met, and in this case, the first condition to be met is Truth. When anything less than the truth is being communicated, it can at least be said that candor loses its luster.
But another condition must be met kindness. Confucius said, “Uprightness, without rules of propriety, becomes rudeness.” The courage that moves us to be outspoken must be balanced with the kindness that humbles us. We should speak out, yes, but we should also be considerate of those who have to listen to our conversations. We need to be strong enough to be tactful.
One of the most common things in the world is to excuse unkindness as mere candor. Tennessee Williams said, “All cruel people describe themselves as paragons of candor.” And Marshall McLuhan echoed that idea when he said, “It is the weak and confused people who worship the pseudo-simplicity of brutal directness.”
So when we speak openly we need to examine – honestly and without self-deception – not only our techniques but also our motives. This may sound hyperbolic, but I believe it to be true: Love is the only healthy reason to tell the truth. Candor in us will be admirable only if we use it to express the truth with charity and good judgment.
But after all, what about those times when we are the recipient of someone else’s candor? What if they speak rudely and with a lack of love? Well, in that case, as long as what we are hearing is true, we need to make a profit from it, regardless of the source or distribution method.
“An enemy who speaks the truth contributes infinitely more to our improvement than a friend who betrays us” (Louis Fortin).
Gary Henry – WordPoints.com AreYouaChristian.com
