These are five answers to five questions. Here it is…
1. My boss told me that my dresses should be longer
My line manager told me yesterday that “comments were made” about how short/inappropriate my outfits were in the office as a front-facing team member for customers. I was told not to wear these clothes in the office anymore.
These comments completely humiliated me, and I spent about an hour crying on the way home. I always dress modestly for work and am very uncomfortable with my body being considered “for display.” My dresses are long sleeved, skirts stop just above my knees. They are traditional office attire. I prefer dresses and skirts over pants, because the medications I take make my stomach bloat a lot and I find tight waistbands uncomfortable. But I was told that they needed to be longer when I’m greeting customers (since my work attire was already above the knee, I’m guessing long means at or below the knee).
It’s a very male heavy office, so what other women wear is split between above the knee or knee-length trousers and skirts. The day after my line manager told me my outfits were too short, she was wearing an above the knee dress.
After looking at my work wardrobe, I estimate that I would have to change about 80% of it to meet these new standards – dresses and skirts at or below the knee – while also managing the other restrictions placed on women’s attire in our office. For example, I’m not allowed to wear a sleeveless blouse because our male directors have decided they’re not professional enough for women. This is when the men in our office can meet clients in hoodies or polo shirts.
I just don’t understand why my clothes are a problem after 16 months of working here. Am I being unreasonable or is this unfair? Is this something I should talk to my union about?
Yes, you should absolutely talk to your union. Nothing makes sense here – skirts and dresses slightly above the knee are not unprofessional or inappropriate work attire, and that goes triple in an office where a bunch of other people are wearing them, including the manager who told you you can’t do it. “You’re customer-facing” makes no sense as an explanation. Is there anything else that might explain why you’re getting this feedback and others aren’t? Sometimes it happens when you’re the only person in your office with a particular body shape (which doesn’t make it OK), and I wonder if that’s the trend here.
Ideally you would go back to your manager and ask for clarification – including explicitly asking if she is telling you that your skirts should be below the knee, and pointing out that all of your skirts are currently the same length as you see other women in your office wearing. But since you have an association, involve them for advice as well.
2. The CEO sends a misleading AI-generated image of himself with every email
As a mere part-time employee, I’m sure there’s nothing I can do about this issue, but maybe you have some ideas.
CEOs have started attaching an AI-generated image of themselves to every email they send. Images are universally more beautiful than the real thing. Now there will be no reduction in hair line or belly fat. Rich bicep muscles. Not a wrinkle in sight.
This is disrespectful behavior and the staff make fun of him for it behind his back. Although I am not personally committed to helping save her reputation, I do want to stop being forced to view these unprofessional, inaccurate pictures. Especially since the workplace is a public library, where one might expect to avoid misinformation.
No, it’s amazing and you shouldn’t try to stop it!
And that’s fortunate, because there’s almost certainly nothing you can do about it. If you were, say, a senior communications staffer or his right-hand person or otherwise a trusted confidant, you could try to address it diplomatically, but assuming you are none of those things and therefore have no real position or obligation to take this on, the only right response is to sit back and enjoy the utter absurdity of it all.
Is this a problem for their credibility? Yes! it is Yours crisis? No.
You can just enjoy the spectacle.
3. I wish my board had fired me earlier
I am the chief executive of a small non-profit organization and I report to a board, and I have been on a performance improvement plan (PIP) for the past four months. The PIP is full of things that are false and half-truths, as well as some things that could legitimately be improved. The PIP was my first notice of any of the complaints that the board (or rather, some members of the executive committee) had about me, my work and, more tellingly, my personality.
Earlier PIP was to be for 60 days. They had no objective measures of success and missed more than half of our scheduled weekly check-ins. They have a lawyer handling everything for them, so I didn’t get any decisions about the PIP until a couple of weeks ago when they gave me another PIP with a 60 day extension. This document, even more so than the first one, contains things that point out where I am failing to meet expectations that I was not aware of and were not part of the job before.
At this point, it is clear that at least two members of the board do not like me and want to fire me, which is completely within their rights to do. I have honestly done everything I can to meet their expectations, but I cannot and will not change my personality or pretend to be someone I am not. And this job has turned out to be somewhat different from the one for which I was hired.
I have been looking for a new job since the process started, but at this stage it is not easy and I cannot afford to remain without income, otherwise I would have quit already. How do I negotiate with them while expressing my desire to leave while also needing to be eligible for unemployment benefits?
Frame it this way: “It’s clear to me that you are unhappy with my work and I want to be realistic about my chances of success here and not prolong the process, so I want to propose a managed separation with a transition that will be as easy as possible for both of us. I would ask that you not contest my unemployment benefits because it seems like I might be let go anyway at the end of this process, but other than that I am flexible about whether the timing and What might this look like in the context of the message.” They are likely to be relieved after hearing this.
You may also consider whether you have a rationale for requesting severance if they are now defining success in the role differently than what you were brought in for.
4. Requirement to study outside 15+ hours per week
I’m curious to know your opinion on a job listing I recently came across. There’s an indie book shop in my town that is looking for booksellers – basically part-time retail work, $12/hour starting pay, nothing unusual for the area.
Among the listed qualifications and job duties, including the requirement of 3+ years experience as a bookseller and an “Associate or better” degree, I saw something that seemed very strange. “Booksellers need to spend an additional 15+ hours a week reading recent releases and bestsellers to stay up to date on merchandise and better assist customers.”
(I’m assuming the 15+ hours of reading homework is unpaid, but I could be wrong; it’s a pretty awesome bookstore, where I like to go occasionally, but will never work in person, so I haven’t inquired further or anything.)
Is it as crazy as I think? Or does this sound like “continuing education” and is quite reasonable to expect?
As a general rule, if outside readings are required for non-exempt employees, they must be paid for that time. There are exceptions for things like continuing education required to maintain a license, but booksellers do not have to be licensed.
It would be better for them to say that they are looking for employees who already have a deep knowledge of recent releases and bestsellers and who will maintain that knowledge going forward – and then screen for dedicated readers. Of recent releases (which is different from being an avid reader in general) into their interview process – rather than presenting it as a job duty with a specific number of hours.
5. I was fired from my previous job, then I didn’t work for several years – how do I explain this in interviews?
I was fired from my job several years ago. Due to a combination of burnout and undiagnosed depression, I effectively became anonymous and did nothing until it was too late, and now I’m trying to re-enter the job market. There are several years of gaps in my resume, losing my last job was entirely my fault, and it’s been a very long time since I’ve looked for any kind of job.
How do I write a resume to cover this particular ground? And, in an interview situation, any advice on how to answer the inevitable question about what I was doing while unemployed? (The honest answer is nothing, while I’m trying to get out of a mental health problem.)
You don’t address this in the resume at all; This is a place to highlight your work history and accomplishments. In an interview, the language you want is: “I was struggling with a health issue that has now been resolved and I’m excited to return to work.” You don’t need to say more than that; They should not ask for details, and explain why you left the previous job as well as what you have been doing since then.
