These are four answers to four questions. Here it is…
1. Need I say anything about the bright blue pimple part of our intern?
We have a salaried trainee with the government for a period of four months. They have some social anxiety issues and general workplace norms that we are working on with them.
Last week, he appeared at a virtual internal team meeting with a blue star sticker on his forehead. It took a while to figure out that it was a pimple patch.
Should we say something? I know there’s a tendency among young people to wear bright and patterned pimple patches in public, but I hope they stay hidden while at work.
Acne patches are becoming increasingly common in the workplace and are seen no differently than a Band-Aid – but at work you’ll generally want to choose a neutral bandage, not a bright blue star, just as many/most offices would feel out of sync to wear a shiny novelty bandage with a Pixar character on your face.
But that’s what internships are for: to learn professional standards. So I would look at it from that perspective: “Stripes are obviously fine for work, but if it’s in your face, it will look more professional if you choose a neutral color rather than a bright one. This is one of those things that people don’t usually know about, and exactly why internships can be so helpful.”
There Are Some offices where even bright blue pimple patches would be okay, but I have a feeling your office is not one of them and it’s beneficial for her to know this.
2. Have the rules about mentioning children during networking changed since the pandemic?
Recently I met a former boss at a professional meeting and as we were chatting she mentioned a job she thought would be a good fit for me. We talked briefly, but I told him it wasn’t right for me right now because I have small children and I needed more flexibility. Was it unprofessional?
My friends and I were discussing this later and we were pretty divided: half of them thought I shouldn’t have mentioned my kids at all because it would risk getting me “mom-categorized” and reduce future recruiting, and the other half thought that mentioning kids/families/life at work has become more socially acceptable over the last five years and employers respect people who know their worth and have boundaries about work and family life. (Interestingly, my mom-friends were mostly in the first group while the dads were the group that thought employers respected work/life balance.)
We’re in a conservative industry (think finance, but it’s not the same) but it’s 2026, and the realities of being a working parent are now more openly discussed. What do you think?
I don’t think it’s any surprise that men’s outlook was more optimistic than women’s, because women are the ones who really have to deal with how it works right now. But I think there’s a difference between talking about your kids in an interview (where I would still avoid it, because you don’t want to give them a reason not to hire you) and saying this when you’re meeting with a former boss and explaining why you don’t want to do a particular job.
In any case, it would not be appropriate to mention your children. unprofessional – Possibly unwise in an interview scenario. Even in 2026, there is still a bias against female candidates, whom interviewers think are less available or less dedicated because of their children. (The men you spoke to likely had different experiences, but it is well documented that the punishment for the mother is much greater than it is for the father.)
3. Do I have to give four weeks’ notice if I leave my job?
Our employee manual requests a two-week notice period for non-management and then increased pay increases for management and higher up roles. In my position (department lead), the “suggested” notice period is four weeks. We are in a position where we want in America
Last year, the company went through a RIF where many employees were furloughed without any severance or notice period. I became the sole leader in my department overnight. No one has been asked back, and those who were able to find other work were considered to have resigned (again, no severance or pay accrued for PTO). As the months went by and the chaos from this RIF got worse, I started interviewing for other roles. Recruiters are asking how much time I’ll need for a notice period, and I’m worried that four weeks is hurting my chances.
Ideally, I would love to give two weeks’ notice, take a week off to just breathe and reset, and then start fresh in a new role. My burnout is real and I know that moving on to the next role immediately wouldn’t be good for my mental or physical health. But it seems that this approach will break the relationship with a company with which I have built almost 10 years of goodwill. Alternatively, a four-week window with no break seems hopeless for many reasons, and that assumes a new company can hire on that timeline.
My most recent datapoint for comparison was a manager (in name only, because his entire team was furloughed or quit) who gave two weeks’ notice. I heard from him that his boss (owner of a company) reacted very badly to the resignation and made his anger clear. I’ve also heard from colleagues that other executives were complaining about the short notice period. During the notice period, I learned that there was absolutely zero redundancy or support for this person in their role and leadership had no idea how to get the work done. Of course, this is not the fault of the resigner and he made every effort to support the change. But his reputation with the company leadership has been unfairly tarnished.
Do I have options here? Frankly, I’m struggling to get past the fact that this company laid off employees last year without any notice or support and yet has the gall to be upset with the employees who resigned this year. But I also have to keep in mind my professional reputation and the realities of the competitive job market.
They can “request” four weeks’ notice if they want; It does not oblige you to give it. Two weeks’ notice is standard, and it’s reasonable for you to give it. While this may be true, it is increasingly true with an employer that does not offer severance in lieu of notice. If their finances made it impossible to do so, so be it – but they have lost any right to raise the issue by giving you two weeks’ notice (which is still two weeks better than what they did on their part!).
If they want a certain amount of notice from people, they need policies and practices on their part that offer the equivalent in return (and even then, they won’t always get it, because that’s not how it works). But they don’t do that. They have the opposite.
This doesn’t mean they won’t be upset when you resign; You can’t control that. But you can act reasonably on your part – meaning you give two weeks’ notice – and say, “Unfortunately I am not able to give more than the standard two-week notice period; I tried to work longer but couldn’t.” And the word “standard” is included intentionally.
Connected:
Can my employer ask me to give four weeks’ notice if I leave my job?
Can I give 2 weeks notice when my employer says they “expect” 4 weeks?
4. Can I ever swap positions between a manager and an employee?
I manage a department in a public sector organisation. The work is very technical/specialized, and good people are hard to find. In my opinion, everyone involved is on a very generous pay scale.
I have two experts who are relatively young, ambitious, flexible and eager to learn. I also manage two managers who have long experience and a lot of knowledge, but who are quite laid back and firm in their ways and keep a lot of knowledge in their heads without documentation. The department had been without a leader for some time before I joined, and although managers filled the gap to some extent, none of them had any interest in competing for further promotion. In practice I look after all four.
I have high expectations from both the experts but both of them are somewhat disappointed that unless a manager position opens up, they will be stuck there. Earlier I had explored adding more grades to the specialist position so that there would be more promotion ahead of them, and I had successfully increased their pay scale, but our organization is currently facing economic headwinds and such further adjustment would be very difficult for some time.
One of the experts, Alexa, is very good at advocating for herself and asks from time to time what options are available for her advancement. She certainly has options if she doesn’t move forward here. She does great work, possibly the best in the department, and is always working on improving her already high skills.
It gets to the point where it feels like he is better suited as a manager than his actual manager. Often I direct a question to her manager, Jodi, which I see as a high-level question that she should answer, but then often (and to my diminishing surprise) she defers to Alexa. Alexa is far more proactive and big-picture-conscious than Jodi, who follows along and takes the easy/reactive route whenever possible.
Is there some way in which I can change the position of Jodi and Alexa? Or is it largely out of the question in most cases? What could be the basis to make this feasible, if ever? I honestly think Jody’s approach and habits are more suitable for an expert position, and Alexa for a managerial position. But that doesn’t mean Jody won’t react negatively to the idea of a pay cut. (I can move around the reporting lines so that Jodi doesn’t actually report to Alexa, though – Alexa can manage the other expert.)
Have you given Jodie feedback on the weaknesses of her work or will this be a complete surprise to her? This is the first step to deal with before you even think about swapping them positions; If Jodi is not meeting your expectations for her work, she deserves to know. Completely aside from Alexa complexity, you should be training Jody and giving her feedback on how to improve.
As for swapping: possible but unlikely. If your understanding was that Jody doesn’t like managing and wishes she could take on an expert role, then you could ask her if she would ever seriously want to do that (although the fact that it would involve a pay cut makes it largely unlikely). Otherwise, however, you would be better off managing Jodi more clearly (including considering letting her go if she is not performing at the level you require after coaching, although I can’t tell if this is the case or not). You could also consider just promoting Alexa to manage the other expert, although if it’s a team of four with no employees below the other two managers, that’s a lot of management beneath you which doesn’t seem like a good reason.
In fact, I think you have a pairing problem that is affecting everything else.
