A meditation to (gently) interrupt habitual responses

If you find that you often react without thinking, explore this exercise to help you respond with more awareness.

Daily life is full of irritations: moments of discomfort, situations where we do not get what we were expecting, delays, disappointments, prickly conversations that can leave us confused and frustrated.

If we’re honest, we can probably admit that sometimes our reactions in those moments are reactive rather than intentional. We feel our anger or irritation increase, and we react almost as if we are reading a script.

Can we explore these habitual responses in a way that gives us enough room to respond differently? In today’s practice, teacher Patricia Rockman guides us through a meditation to help us deal with whatever is arising, so that we have more agency when the next moment comes.

This meditation is about working with habits. In particular, our habitual reactions to difficult situations that commonly arise. This could be anger at being stuck in traffic, sadness at not getting what you want, or frustration at dealing with companies that put you on hold indefinitely. No matter what it is, whether it’s something important or something that seems mundane, mindfulness practice can help us deal with our habitual reactivity in more efficient ways.

A meditation to (gently) interrupt habitual responses

Read the guided meditation script below and practice, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio exercises.

1. get into a comfortable positionOne that is familiar to you and that you use when engaging in an exercise, and brings attention to your body. If you’re sitting, bring attention to your contact points; Where your sit bones are on your chair or cushion, or where your feet or legs are in contact with a surface.
2. Pay attention to where your hands are in relation to your bodyWhether they’re resting on your thighs or curled up in your lap. Focus on lifting your chest, keeping your chin in line with your navel, and resting your tongue behind your teeth. If you are choosing to lie down for this exercise, you will be better off lying on your back.
3. Bring attention to your body as it comes in contact with the mat, floor or bed. Note your points of contact, and also note where your body is not in contact. Whatever your position, let the surface you are lying or sitting on do the work of supporting you. Bring attention to the front body and the back body and everything in between.
4. Now focus your attention on the sensations of breathing Where they are most readily available, whether on the nose, chest, or stomach. Really pay attention to the sensations of the breath as they reveal themselves to you, choose a spot and focus your attention there.
5. Focus on inhaling and exhaling. Pay attention to the movements of the body as the air goes in and out. Pay attention to the nostrils; You will be seeing coolness on the way in and warmth on the way out. Focus on the breath or chest, focusing on the expansion of the body on the inhale and the expansion of the body on the exhale.
6. Let the body settle. Let the breathing become steady. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Every breath is a new breath. Each inhalation and exhalation.
7. You will notice from time to time that your attention will shift towards thinkingIn the future, past, planning, worrying, or daydreaming. Your job is simply to notice this habitual tendency of the mind, and to gently return to your breath again and again, without judgment and without any story. There is no right or wrong here, it’s just about paying attention to your breathing, noticing when your attention goes, and bringing it back again.
8. Notice when the breath is slow and when the breath is short. Notice when it is shallow and when it is deep. Mindfulness is about becoming aware of our experience in its entirety, whether wanted or unwanted, and in this case it is becoming aware of the experience of breathing.
9. Exhale and let go of this primary focus on the breath, And let it exist but in the background. Concentrate on your entire body while breathing. Bring open receptivity to the experience and the coming and going of sensations in the body. Notice and explore their arrival, persistence, or passing. Bring friendly interest and curiosity to this investigation of the sensory nature of experience, whatever it may be.
10. Notice how your body feels. There may be relaxation, tension, rest, discomfort or pain in some part of your body. Whatever it is, when a sensation attracts your attention, investigate it and explore its depth and different qualities. Whether you lean into it or lean away, whether it’s pleasant, unpleasant, or even neutral, without changing anything in this moment, simply pay attention to what is arising in your body as it shows up.
11. Pay attention to what’s happening as best you can, without criticismBut pay attention to judgment or hatred if they arise. As far as possible, explore the sensation as it is, without judgment.
12. Check for sensations as they arise. Once you have completed examining one sensation, wait for another sensation to arise and examine it. Remember that the feeling can be internal or external. Perhaps the sounds are expressing themselves as they come and go. In this moment, in your body, become aware of your physical sensations.
13. Notice when your attention shifts to thinkingOr you feel an impulse to act or change the situation. Accept that this is what is here right now. Return your attention to your body again and again. Explore one sensation, let it go, and then move your attention to another as it enters your awareness.
14. Now, if you want, bring to mind a manageable stressful situation.N. Maybe this is a recent time when you were irritable, sad, confused, or anxious. Maybe it was a relationship or work situation. With this in mind, remember that if what comes up is at all difficult for you, feel free to bring your attention back to breathing with your body at any time.
15. If your eyes are closed, open them. Consider a stressor and notice what immediately arises. It could be a physical sensation, a thought or an emotion. Perhaps there is inspiration to perform some behavior or action. Start knowing your stress reactivity signatures.
16. If there are thoughts, observe them as best you can. If there are feelings, try naming them, like “sadness”, or “anxiety”. Remember that labeling emotions helps organize them and make them more manageable. Labeling emotions gives you the opportunity to make choices about what happens next.
17. If there are physical sensations, note them.And really focus your attention on them. Even if they are unwanted, explore them. Know them. Stay with them as long as they hold your attention. Notice whether they increase, persist, or fade. Recognize that this is a moment of stress, and that’s okay; It’s already here. Bring a compassionate and kind grip to this experience. Be with what is, even if it is unwanted. Explore your body and sensations while they are here.
18. Now, turn your attention back to the sensations of breathingMaybe in your stomach. If there are any remaining sensations, take note of them at that time. Options include joining, if you choose, expanding these on the inhale, softening the breath, expanding and releasing on the out, or allowing and releasing, if that’s possible. If this is not necessary, then pay attention only to the stomach and the rise and fall of the in and out breaths.
19. Expand the entire body around the breath once againFor any and all sensitivities. Be with the body, your breath in the background and sensations in the foreground, from head to toe. Bringing a sense of spaciousness to your experience; Be open and receptive with an open front and strong back.
20. When you’re ready, leave this exercise, And if possible, bring more expanded and broader awareness into your next moments.
21. Now, if you feel like it, take a pen and paper and write any word, Thoughts, emotions, physical sensations and impulses to act. Write down what came up for you in the exercise when you introduced the tension. Name the feelings and list them. What physical sensations and what impulses, if any, to act or behave came to your mind? These components of experience can show themselves in different ways, from thoughts to emotions, from physical sensations to behavior and back to emotions and thoughts, and that’s okay. Record these as they appear to you.
22. Once you’ve finished, take a moment to look at what you’ve written. And think about where you might be consciously intervening in your habitual response. How can you bring awareness to these habitual responses as they come up, to provide more choices if necessary, or to offer other options about how to respond? How can you stop yourself to be able to take a step back and gain perspective?

Pay attention to habitual reactions

Perhaps make a commitment to yourself about how you can practice this in small ways when difficulties arise. Perhaps once a week or once a day, simply focus on an experience, or take a mindful breath when a difficulty appears, or change perspective, or engage in a different behavior.

Whatever you do, remember that awareness is always a moment away, and awareness is portable, it can be with us no matter where we are, at any moment, at any time.