Years ago I used to do a lot of list-type posts (10 Things You Should Know About Work by 30, 8 Signs You’re a Bad Boss, etc.). I found it in 2017 and thought it was worth reviving.
If you’re like many people, you may feel anxious when you have to talk to your boss — or you may leave the conversation wondering what kind of impression you made. Or maybe you’ve just noticed that you can have a cordial relationship with your manager. Whatever the case, the following seven phrases will help you get what you need from your boss, communicate better, and keep yourself in good shape.
1. “We can do X or Y. I propose Y because…” The idea here is that you are not simply pushing the problem onto your boss and waiting for him to solve it. Instead, you are thinking about how to solve the problem and proposing a way forward. This makes your boss’s job easier, because he has something concrete to provide feedback on – and in many cases he can just say “Yeah, that sounds great, go do that.” It also positions you as someone who proactively solves problems, and this is a skill that will almost always be needed if you want to take on more responsibility or get promoted.
2. “Of course I’m happy to do it as you ask, but I want to point out that there is a potential problem If you think something your manager is asking you to do is a bad idea, this framing can help you escalate it without getting into an argument. You’re clearly saying that you’re perfectly happy to do what your boss has asked, but you’re also offering a perspective that he or she might not have considered and that might prove helpful.
3. “I realized I wasn’t entirely sure what you meant when you said X earlier.” Sometimes your manager may say something that leaves you confused or even concerned, but the conversation moves on before you get a chance to ask about it. This doesn’t mean that you are sentenced to put up with your uncertainty or anxiety forever, just because you missed your chance at that time! It’s perfectly fine to ask about it later. In fact, most managers would strongly prefer that you bring it up later, so that they have a chance to clarify what they meant.
4. “Can we talk about how I should set priorities?” I’ve heard of many people who are frustrated with their workload but who haven’t asked for help prioritizing. Instead, they believe they have to get it all done quickly, and as a result they become stressed or let things fall apart. It’s important to know that your manager may not realize how big your workload has become or that you have two big projects on the same day or other conflicts getting in the way. Your manager is probably busy and has a lot of work, and he or she is relying on you to speak up if your workload has become unbearable. If she’s skilled at her job, she’ll be happy to tell you what to prioritize — and even what you might be able to push back or avoid altogether.
5. “Thanks for giving me that feedback – it’s really helpful to hear.” Often, people become upset or defensive when receiving critical feedback – and although managers should not hesitate to provide feedback in the future, the reality is that this is often the case. Others don’t respond at all, leaving their managers stumped as to whether they’re actually leading the conversation forward. But if instead you’re cheerful and openly appreciative of guidance, you’ll likely find that your boss gives you a steady stream of guidance that will help you get better at your job. And you will probably find us exceptionally mature and easy to work with.
6. “Is there any way I can make it easier for you to provide input?” If you’re having trouble getting the input from your boss that you need to move projects forward, try asking this question. You may find that you’ll get faster replies if you call instead of emailing, or if you grab your boss in the hallway for two minutes after the morning staff meeting, or even if you use a particular subject line structure, or all kinds of other possibilities, she’ll get through your email faster.
7. “Can I reiterate my understanding of this assignment to make sure I get it?” This is an especially good question to ask if you’ve noticed that your boss sometimes doesn’t mention important details until you’re already halfway through an assignment (or worse, have finished it), or that you both don’t always leave the conversation with the same understanding that was agreed upon. Giving a quick summary of what you’re learning from the conversation can help her realize that she needs to share additional important details with you and help both of you recognize places where you may not be on the same page.
