Accessing genuine happiness can seem impossible when we’re struggling – but it’s also the key to our recovery, healing, and well-being.
When we’re going through a difficult time personally, or we’re witnessing the pain of others, our relationship with real happiness or joy can become complex and confusing. Happiness may feel out of reach, or it may feel like a betrayal, as if it’s something we don’t “deserve” during difficult times.
But strengthening our ability to notice and embrace moments of beauty, tenderness, connection, and gratitude can really have a strong impact on us. It can help us build resilience and fill our empty emotional tanks – which can promote our own healing and make it possible for us to show up in healing ways for others.
Teacher Wendy O’Leary shares a guided exercise to direct our attention to the reality that shines alongside our real seasons of struggle.
A meditation to give true happiness even in difficult times
Read the guided meditation script below and practice, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio exercises.
Maybe, like many, you have also thought, How can I even think about being happy when I am going through such a difficult time right now?
Or, How can I be happy when there is so much suffering in the world?
And yet, happiness is not only available when basic needs are met, it is essential to our well-being and resilience. We need that resiliency both for ourselves when we are struggling and to support others when they are struggling. Both can be true.
Things can be difficult and we can still touch some joys in life. It can’t be forced, so this practice isn’t an encouragement to push harder things down. Instead, it is a very gentle invitation to make even a little space for goodness as you are able to increase capacity and well-being.
This exercise is adapted from Rick Hansen’s practice of embracing the good.
- Let’s start by getting into a comfortable position. If this works for you, I invite you to close your eyes.
- Gently direct your attention to the felt experience of your body. You may feel that your feet are on the floor, the backs of your feet are on a chair or cushion, or where your hands are touching. Direct your attention to where you can most easily connect with the body’s experience of sitting.
- Now, gently extend your attention to feel the sensations throughout the body. Sitting, which also includes the body’s breathing sensations. The invitation here is for a wide, soft and receptive awareness of the body’s sitting and breathing.
- If difficult feelings or thoughts arise, it’s not a problem. There is no need to push them aside. Gently acknowledge their presence, perhaps even say to yourself, oh, unpleasant thoughts or feelings. Then let them fade into the background as we pause here for a minute, focusing on the foreground of the whole body experience.
- Now, remember a time when you felt truly happy. It may be a time when you felt peace or calm, or it may be a time when you felt a sense of satisfaction, or it may even be a joyful time. If there are a few experiences that are eager to attract your attention, just choose one to practice with us. There is no right or wrong option here.
- Notice where you are and who you are with during that experience. Look around and notice what else you see when you remember this experience. You can see what sounds you hear. Was there any taste or smell? Just be curious. And what about physical sensations, like the sun on the skin or feet in the sand or even movement, like body movement or dancing? Simply pay attention to any physical sensations associated with this experience. Take it in with all your senses.
- Now, let go of the specific experience and just check for yourself. How does my body feel when you are happy, peaceful, satisfied or pleased? What is that in the body? What is there in your mind? what’s your mind? You can also say to yourself, Oh, happy like this.
- Imagine letting that feeling spread throughout your body. Enjoy the experience of happiness, let it grow and expand. You can also say to yourself, This feeling is worth having. To help your brain remember and access this feeling more easily. Oh, that’s what happiness is and it’s worth keeping. Enjoy the experience, enhance the experience and remind yourself that it is worth keeping. happiness feels like this.
- Remember that happiness is not in that specific experience you missed. It’s in you, and it’s accessible. You just have to take a moment to call it quits and lean into the feeling of happiness. Happiness is like this.
- Before we wrap up, let’s say some good wishes. May we and all living beings remain safe. May we and all living beings remain healthy in body, mind and heart. May we and all beings be happy, truly happy, peaceful, content and free. May our practice be beneficial for all beings.
- As you go through your day, you can make an intention to notice small moments of happiness, peace, and connection. Pause for at least three breaths to take them in, paying attention to them with all your senses. Notice how the body feels when experiencing happiness and invite that feeling of happiness to inhabit and even expand into the body, mind, and heart.
Thanks for practicing with me.
