“Acknowledgment of effort must be specifically tailored. People tend to accept canned compliments, especially if they hear other people saying the same things. Nothing is more effective than honest, accurate praise, and nothing is more lame than a cookie-cutter compliment” (Bill Walsh).
Praise is powerful. It is productive. It makes a difference for the good. And while it is true that our words to others should take the form of criticism from time to time, when it comes to strength, criticism is no match for praise. “Praise can give criticism the lead at the first turn and still win the race” (Burn Williams). And yet, as Bill Walsh’s comments remind us, if praise is to be of any benefit, it must meet certain criteria. Our praise of others should be “matched” to theirs.
Specific. When was the last time you were genuinely encouraged by a compliment that you knew the giver had given in exactly the same words to four other people in the room in the previous ten minutes?
Pure. When was the last time you were truly encouraged by a compliment that you knew, and perhaps the giver also knew, was false? If you’re a liar, does getting praised for being honest make you feel good?
Honest. When was the last time you felt genuinely encouraged by a compliment that you knew was coming from someone trying to get on your good side and insult you? To benefit, praise should not be a “technique.” It should really be about the recipient, not the giver.
However, when the power of praise is being discussed, it never fails that some individual will say: “Well, yes, I know praise in general is powerful, but personally, I don’t mean enough to anyone that my praise would make a difference.” But if we think like this then we need to think again. Even if there is not a single person who knows us well enough to particularly want to hear our praise (and the truth is that most of us have more than one or two such people), we should not underestimate the good that can be done by praising people with whom we have no special relationship. Even with complete strangers, “random acts of appreciation” can be truly remarkable to both the recipient and the giver. Just try it and see. find something you can do specifically, precisely, And sincerely Compliment the next person you meet in public today and see what happens. That would be nice!
“A single man’s appreciation means a great deal” (Samuel Johnson).
Gary Henry – WordPoints.com AreYouaChristian.com
