A reader writes:
My position was recently terminated.
Now former coworkers are messaging me to ask questions. I don’t feel obligated to answer. What are some options for responding when I want to politely say ‘no’?
You are under no obligation to answer questions when you are not working there. That said, it’s also true that if you want to maintain good relationships with these coworkers and may need them for future job leads or references (informal or otherwise), you may not want to take a completely black-and-white line on this.
You certainly shouldn’t be doing any real work when you’re not getting paid – like a detailed update on the history of a project or a list of the best way to contact a client – but if it’s a very simple question like “Where is the key to X filing cabinet?” Answering a question that you can answer in one sentence may be beneficial to you because you want to maintain those relationships. Still, there are some limitations; If you are getting many questions like this, it is best to stop helping. But one or two very simple questions? It is usually in your best interest to answer these.
However, if more than this is being asked of you, it would be appropriate to say any of the following:
* “I don’t think I can help as I don’t work there anymore – I’m sorry about that!”
* “Now that I’ve moved I don’t have access to him.”
* “I’m not sure I have this in my head – sorry!”
* “I’m not sure off the top of my head, but check the files I left behind.”
* “Now that I’m gone I can’t answer questions, but try checking the manual.”
If it’s a coworker you particularly like or with whom you have a good relationship, you could say, “I know you’re in a difficult situation as you’re trying to make ends meet, but since I’m no longer being paid, I’m not comfortable continuing to help with work.”
And if it’s a really big number of questions on real things And If you’d be willing to help if they pay you, you could say, “I’ve been getting a lot of requests for help with things like this. I’d be willing to set up a consulting arrangement for a set number of hours over the next month or two if you’d like to do that.” (I’ve noticed that people like to suggest quoting exorbitant fees for this, but that’s not even in your best interest. A reasonable rate, yes, but not obscene just because you want to stick it to them; that will really impair your judgment. If you want to keep it limited to them, you’re better off leaving it out altogether.)
But if you are not particularly interested in maintaining these relationships and do not think that you would like to contact them for any kind of help in the future, you can also ignore the messages. You are not obliged to respond.
