Crosswalk Couples Devotional
3 Steps to Safeguard Your Marriage from the Love Island Mindset – Crosswalk Couples Devotional – August 6
Peyton Garland
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3 Steps to Safeguard Your Marriage from the Love Island MindsetBy: Peyton Garland
“Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” 2 Timothy 2:22
Whether Christian or not, viewers of the popular reality dating show Love Island have the same sentiment: It’s trash, but it’s so addictive.
Love Island first aired in 2015 in the UK but has grown internationally. Now, the States have their own Love Island show, where attractive singles are pooled together on a fancy island and must find love and keep love to avoid being eliminated. Meanwhile, plot twists include introducing new singles as the weeks go by and transporting people who are already coupled up to another island, where they are introduced to new singles and are challenged with remaining faithful to their original partner.
Viewers can vote for their favorite couples as part of the elimination process, letting everyone at home feel like part of the game. This twisted idea of affection and faithfulness envelops our minds, and when we sit with something long enough, when taking in the content becomes routine, it becomes normal. We become desensitized to sin, and we justify its potent lies.
We set traps for our own souls, then blame everyone but ourselves when we can’t maintain a healthy relationship.
What I’ve found so disheartening about Love Island is that I have seen more engagement from married viewers than singles. In the grand scheme of things, this might not follow the true statistic, but it leads me to believe that married Christians must safeguard their marriage from this Love Island mindset
Not sure where to begin? I’m not always sure how to recover bits of my marriage that need refinement, either, but through trial and error, here are a few tips that have worked for me:
1. Turn it off
A few months ago, I started watching a clean historical drama series that includes God in a positive light. However, I noticed that one of the main male characters had me drooling… a bit too much.
Granted, he looks so, so much like my husband, with dark black hair and beautiful blue eyes, but the man on the screen is not the man I vowed my devotion to. Very quickly, I realized that I enjoyed the show less for its plot (though wonderful) and far more for simply going gushy over the guy on the screen.
If you’re in a scenario like this, where the people on the show get a bit too attractive, just turn it off. It’s not hard. It’s just not fun. It closes off an avenue you used as a diversion, a show that let you disengage from the hard parts of life and simply enjoy something visually appealing.
Trust me, I get it. I like a break from reality too, but that’s not life, and that’s not living with healthy intentions. It’s certainly not safeguarding your marriage, either.
2. Rekindle the intimacy
Once you have kids and the grind of daily life takes its toll, marriage can become nothing more than splitting responsibilities and smiling for the sake of social media. But there’s a reason you were first attracted to your spouse, and you get to not only unearth that same attraction through different life seasons, but you also get to find even more reasons to find joy, thrill, and intimacy in your marriage
This is intentional, though. It means that you have to mute any comparisons, whether in real life or on television, and focus on spending quality time with your person.
When I first met my husband, I was blown away by his looks (as most girls in their early twenties are). His sense of humor was certainly a bonus, too. But if you asked me today what the sexiest thing about him is, it’s not his looks. And it’s not his humor.
It’s the way he volunteers to fix a toilet at the church on a random Tuesday. It’s the way he clomps through rain puddles with our son. It’s the way he says, “I folded the laundry and paused your show so you could nap.”
Intimacy, the kind that lasts, is sitting right there on the couch beside you—not on a screen on some island.
3. Find new thrills together
Shows like Love Island are meant to make us feel young, fun, and alive. They trap us in a world where everything seems flashier. But what I’ve learned is that marriage, no matter the season, can be just as thrilling (and certainly more fulfilling) than a reality dating show when both parties are committed to good, healthy fun.
This December, our family is planning a Christmas vacation to Florida, where I’m planning to free-dive with blacktip sharks. To say I’m excited is an understatement! My husband cares nothing about this feat, but he’s putting in extra hours at work just to fund it. He loves me enough that my adventure is his too
We forget how to have fun in marriage, but don’t neglect the thrill of doing life with someone who pushes you to see more, do more, and become more. Having a partner who challenges you to grow as a person, certainly in your faith, provides you with the grandest adventure of all.
So in a Love Island world, know that you have every right, and certainly the high calling, to swim against the current
Action Steps:1. Consider all the shows that you regularly watch. Identify why you watch them. If any of this entertainment has an addictive, lustful nature, surrender it to God. Come clean in prayer and find healthier means of entertainment alongside your spouse
2. Sit down with your spouse and make a list of 3-5 adventure ideas that can add more youth and fun to your marriage.
Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Frank Mckenna
Peyton Garland is an author, editor, and boy mama who lives in the beautiful foothills of East Tennessee. Subscribe to her blog Uncured+Okay for more encouragement
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