Last week I was asked to stay away from screens for a few days due to a possible injury (I’m fine), so this was originally published in 2020.
A reader writes:
Recently, a coworker and I were assigned to go on a business trip to a work conference. It was held at a convention center in a different part of the state, about two and a half hours away. We will be taking a company car, and it can be scary to drive there during rush hour. My manager and I agreed that it would be best to leave early in the morning to avoid most of the traffic.
My coworker and I were supposed to meet at our office and leave at 5:30 am. It was 5:45 and my co-worker was still not in the office. I tried calling him three times during that 15 minute period but he did not answer. I decided to go without him because I didn’t want to be late for the conference.
It turned out that she didn’t reach the office until 6:05 am, which was much later than the time we were asked to leave. He had no emergency so he was justified in coming so late. He drove his own car to the conference instead of going in the company car.
When I got back to work at the end of the day, my manager was angry at me for leaving without my coworker. I think their anger is completely misplaced because I was not one who came late and I attended the conference on time as I should have. It is the late co-worker who should be disciplined because she came late to the conference and did not come when we agreed. Who do you think is wrong here?
Well… I don’t like how anyone involved handled things.
Most obviously, your coworker should have arrived on time. When someone gets up at 5:30 in the morning to meet you, basic respect dictates that you need to be on time. It’s no good being 35 minutes late, and neither is contacting you to let you know what’s going on.
But on your part, deciding to leave after only 15 minutes seems rushed to me. I wouldn’t blame you at all for deciding to leave after half an hour, but 15 minutes is not enough in this situation. it was not Necessary that you leave on time; You were just hoping to beat the worst of the morning traffic and give him a little more time. For example, if she was experiencing bad traffic, or had a child care emergency, or something like that and was 16 minutes late, it would be inappropriate for you to leave early. (This is especially true since you were driving a company car and the cost of the trip increased with your co-worker driving himself.)
That said, even if you had given her a full half hour, it seems she still wouldn’t have been there – so the end result (you leaving without her) would have been the same.
If I were your manager, I would be angry at you for leaving so early, and it would make me question your judgment. But I would be much more angry at your coworker for being 35 minutes late.
hope your manager Is Talk to your co-worker about the tardiness (and keep in mind that if he or she knew, you wouldn’t need to know about it). But you also have to take responsibility for your actions – you jumped the gun and moved on too quickly, and you must take responsibility for it and make it clear that you will handle it differently in the future. For example, you might say, “I should have waited longer. When I couldn’t reach Jane at all, I worried that she was oversleeping or otherwise wasn’t going to be here soon. But in retrospect, I should have given her more time, and if something like this ever comes up again, I will.”
If your manager is really “angry” (which is an overreaction), I would leave it at that. But if he’s just angry, you can also say, “How long?” Needed I have waited in that situation? Looking back, half an hour seems more reasonable to me, but in this case it still wouldn’t be enough. If something like this happens again, what’s the best way for me to handle it?”
